Sunday, May 19:
Beijos,
Katrina
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Feijuka!
Beijos,
Katrina
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Changing the Changed
That's exactly what life is: changing. All the time. And that's exactly what a year abroad taught me to see: the changes. What's changed for me since I got here? And I'm willing to say almost everything has. It's amazing what a year out of your own shoes does for you... and I'm betting the shoes I left behind won't be right for me anymore when I get back. I feel different... I might not be able to notice all the changes on the inside of me, but I know that they're there.
Everything is different now than it was 9 and a half months ago. 9 and a half months ago I had myself convinced that I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to cure diseases and fix the physical problems happening inside people's bodies. I think I wanted to be able to fix the physical problems because they're fixable. I like to fix things, meddle. I'm a meddl-er. And this way I could maybe use that part of me to stop picking-apart peoples psycological problems and trying to fix what doesn't have a fix and start putting people's bodies back together with science and medicine. I've done well in school, I have the study and memorization skills to work through it, and the determination, too.
But on exchange I started to realize the things that make me happy. Even going to a Physical Education College for 4 months taught me that I would have wasted money going into Biomedical Sciences. Because science doesn't make my heart sing. I find it interesting but I can't lose myself in the study. I don't get captured by the awe of a complicated medical phenominon the way I get lost in a book or a play. Or even the way I love to pick and understand psycological problems. Or the feelings of a foreign language spilling off my tongue. Stringing words together to make something beautiful and moving: a song, a poem, a story. These are the parts of me that make me want to live every day with a giant smile on my face. I don't want to spend 4 years behind a microscope studying cells. I couldn't see myself being happy studying science day in and day out.
Even just thinking back to the beginning of exchange when I got off the plane and everything seemed so exotic and strange. The food felt foreign and exciting on my tongue and the heat melted my skin and it was just coming into spring here. Even the buildings and stores and plants looked weird. The way of life wasn't my way of life, I felt like a stranger trying to their best to follow in the steps of the people around her. Nothing felt normal.
Now... everything feels normal. The brightly colored money with animal pictures on it no longer make me laugh a little at its appeal. The deep fried cream cheese with chicken and catipury coxinha went from being horrible to something I crave on a daily basis. I love lemon flavoured things, especially Lemon/Lime Tarts. Pear Juice is my favourite, and Maracuja Fanta or Guarana are the kinds of soda I order at the cinema. The gypsies on the street in the Downtown (Centro) don't freak me out and send me on a longe route around them. The hippy guys who sell a bunch of Bob Marley things and anything with feathers turned out to be some really cool guys that are interesting to talk to - and gave me a free wire picture frame they made just for me. The markets made up of tables with a tarp roof don't look slummy - they looks like a bundle of awesome waiting for me to buy their things. It went from every day feeling foreign and new to this being what feels like my real life. I'm scratching my head trying to come up with all these things that should be different because they don't feel different anymore. I don't really remember what it's like to speak English in large groups or with strangers in public. Or what the food tastes like. I occassionally forget that Dill Pickle chips exist and we don't eat rice with beans on top. I forget that I know how to drive - although when I remember that detail I start wishing I had a car. I have 1 pair of pants because I cut the other ones into jeans for December because that's summer. Snow.. what's snow? I get cold when the temperature drops below 20.
I don't forget the people. I don't forget the feelings that I had. I haven't stopped missing home. The smell of the earth and the ruggedness of the land. The mountains... I haven't forgotten. But sometimes it's easy to get lost in the idea that this is life. It has been for 9 and a half months. It will be for another 2 months or so. This has become my reality where as it was just my dream.
Everythings different. The changed is changing.
Beijos,
Katrina
Everything is different now than it was 9 and a half months ago. 9 and a half months ago I had myself convinced that I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to cure diseases and fix the physical problems happening inside people's bodies. I think I wanted to be able to fix the physical problems because they're fixable. I like to fix things, meddle. I'm a meddl-er. And this way I could maybe use that part of me to stop picking-apart peoples psycological problems and trying to fix what doesn't have a fix and start putting people's bodies back together with science and medicine. I've done well in school, I have the study and memorization skills to work through it, and the determination, too.
But on exchange I started to realize the things that make me happy. Even going to a Physical Education College for 4 months taught me that I would have wasted money going into Biomedical Sciences. Because science doesn't make my heart sing. I find it interesting but I can't lose myself in the study. I don't get captured by the awe of a complicated medical phenominon the way I get lost in a book or a play. Or even the way I love to pick and understand psycological problems. Or the feelings of a foreign language spilling off my tongue. Stringing words together to make something beautiful and moving: a song, a poem, a story. These are the parts of me that make me want to live every day with a giant smile on my face. I don't want to spend 4 years behind a microscope studying cells. I couldn't see myself being happy studying science day in and day out.
Even just thinking back to the beginning of exchange when I got off the plane and everything seemed so exotic and strange. The food felt foreign and exciting on my tongue and the heat melted my skin and it was just coming into spring here. Even the buildings and stores and plants looked weird. The way of life wasn't my way of life, I felt like a stranger trying to their best to follow in the steps of the people around her. Nothing felt normal.
Now... everything feels normal. The brightly colored money with animal pictures on it no longer make me laugh a little at its appeal. The deep fried cream cheese with chicken and catipury coxinha went from being horrible to something I crave on a daily basis. I love lemon flavoured things, especially Lemon/Lime Tarts. Pear Juice is my favourite, and Maracuja Fanta or Guarana are the kinds of soda I order at the cinema. The gypsies on the street in the Downtown (Centro) don't freak me out and send me on a longe route around them. The hippy guys who sell a bunch of Bob Marley things and anything with feathers turned out to be some really cool guys that are interesting to talk to - and gave me a free wire picture frame they made just for me. The markets made up of tables with a tarp roof don't look slummy - they looks like a bundle of awesome waiting for me to buy their things. It went from every day feeling foreign and new to this being what feels like my real life. I'm scratching my head trying to come up with all these things that should be different because they don't feel different anymore. I don't really remember what it's like to speak English in large groups or with strangers in public. Or what the food tastes like. I occassionally forget that Dill Pickle chips exist and we don't eat rice with beans on top. I forget that I know how to drive - although when I remember that detail I start wishing I had a car. I have 1 pair of pants because I cut the other ones into jeans for December because that's summer. Snow.. what's snow? I get cold when the temperature drops below 20.
I don't forget the people. I don't forget the feelings that I had. I haven't stopped missing home. The smell of the earth and the ruggedness of the land. The mountains... I haven't forgotten. But sometimes it's easy to get lost in the idea that this is life. It has been for 9 and a half months. It will be for another 2 months or so. This has become my reality where as it was just my dream.
Everythings different. The changed is changing.
Beijos,
Katrina
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